Warning #1
My family is sitting in the house, watching 'The Voice' (it doesn't deserve those quote marks), and I have to say honestly, to anyone who has the option to watch this show (I'm pretty sure it's UK only) DO NOT WATCH THE SHOW! Aside from will.i.am (he is epic) with his ice cool subtle hilarity, the show lacks any comedic value whatsoever (like this blog)! Every Saturday night in my house goes as follows...Family: What should we watch?
Me: Saturday Night Takeaway!
Family: The Voice
Me: Saturday Night Takeaway! [Nobody hears]
Family: Okay we'll put the voice on!
Me: Yes, the sheer excitement you get from watching people deciding whether to turn around in a fucking chair or not! And Danny doesn't even decide, he just follows everyone else like a fucking SLENDERMAN!
And there we go! Why don't they see Doctor Who in the way I do! It's all about perspective...
Warning #2
THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!
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My Favorites of the Month - March 2013
I decided to make a post based on my favorite things of the month, Characters, Movies, Videogames, and other general things! Again, this post will contain spoilers AND hairless pandas... joke, it's lions!
Haha I lied, it's CATS (Lions are cats but screw you)!
Now let's get started...
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Favorite Videogame(s) of the Month
This month has been a brilliant one for videogames, with titles like The Sims 3: University Life, Luigi's Mansion, and Simcity hitting shelves. But, out of all of the videogames released this month, my TWO favorites are Bioshock Infinite and Tomb Raider. These two games have in-depth storylines, both have characters who if they were real would have broken the fuck out of there legs, each has amazing graphics and scenery, and similar yet amazingly differing gameplay mechanics.
In fact, my favourite 'character' is from one of these games, and SPOILERS! begin now...
I love how complex the story of Bioshock Infinite is, it pretty much fucks Albert Einstein over and destroys all of our theories of how we can achieve time travel (except mine 'cause I have the machine to prove it). But, the theories it presents are so much better than the boring shit we think of! The only one of Einstein's theories which is in any way good is (there is a bit of paraphrasing here) 'If you run naked around a tree at 185,999 miles/second there is a possibility of fucking yourself' (there are other ways to fuck yourself, such as watching 'The Voice')... So, I know that is the best scientific theory, but at least try to respect Bioshock Infinite's time travel theories... and try to keep up..!
So, you are able to travel through time and space by utilizing things called 'tears', which become available once you rescue 'Elizabeth' (Anna) from the tower... However, unbeknownst to you and your character (Booker DeWitt) the only reason you are where you are is because of 'tears'. And who provided you with these, none other than the Lutece 'siblings', whom you shall find out more about if you read on! But, the two main reasons I love this game are... #1 It's awesome and hugely confusing mechanics and storyline (which I'm proud to say I understand), and #2 The BEAUTIFUL scenery and world!
If you don't think this is beautiful then you probably looked at Justin Bieber and have that condition where you are permanently demented and want to kill yourself...
I want to blow that Airship up so so bad... some people just want to watch the world burn
It's in the sky! Let's blow it up! Sounds an awful lot like the inspiration for the Death Star.
This game may be beautiful (Tomb Raider's got nothing on it), but Tomb Raider has that unique sense of 'let's watch our friends die while we escape bad situations' that isn't captured well in many games... I'm not going to spoil much of this game, but I will tell you that, it's set on Yamatai (NO SHIT SHERLOCK!), and it is based on this woman called Lara Croft (SHIT THE BED!) who has tits bigger than yo' face! Hopefully they choose an actress who has all of her 'attributes' (BIG TITS!) for the upcoming movie! So, here are some pics of the game...
The game sometimes has a monochromatic, cold feel which adds to the atmosphere (her boobs add to the atmosphere, they've got an enormous gravitational pull).
Sorry there's no boob action, but still a pretty atmospheric shot of the game's personality (yes, games have personalities).
Everyone knows the best way to put out a fire is, fire an arrow into it while running through it, and completely ignoring the enemy holding a gun in the background who is likely to turn and murder you! Fire is a key mechanic and adds personality to the game, and allowing you to burn pretty much everything!
Favorite Character(s) of the Month
SPOILERS AHEAD!
'Bioshock Infinite' makes another appearance, this time via 'two' of it's characters. But it is in fact not about two people (in a way), because unrealized to some, these two characters are actually the same person but from different universes. Yes, they may be two separate characters, but they are technically the same person. Robert and Rosalind Lutece! These two are honestly brilliant, this quote has become my new philosophy!
Rosalind: I see... heads.
Robert: And I see tails.
Rosalind: It's all a matter of perspective.
How amazing is that, and they have this little music that goes along with it, sounds like something out of a detective movie... You know, when the detective goes and explores the abandoned warehouse at night, it's so cool! They're just... not phased by anything... They're so calm, yet so full of character!
They are the reason Booker is going after his daughter Anna (Elizabeth). They are the pair on the boat, and the experiment they are discussing is the fact that they have sent Booker into this same pattern of events more than once, and Rosalind says something along the lines of 'why do you attempt an experiment if you know you are going to fail'. They know it is going to fail, because they have done this before. Robert also reminds her that your character doesn't row, not meaning that you can't or won't row, but that every time they have brought you to do this, you haven't rowed, which means it is a constant in their quantum experiment.
Further along in the game, they offer you a choice, heads or tails... you say heads, as usual, which is another constant, again showing them that thus far, you are following the same pattern of events as were previously followed. Further along, you receive a letter from them, saying not to pick #77 (in the lottery draw thingamajig), and I assume they sent this to all of the Booker s in the hope that one would follow the advice and a variable would be found. The pair later they offer you a choice of brooch for Elizabeth, bird or cage? I think this is to reinforce the fact that the smallest choice can alter what happens, but it is implied that this Booker did what all of the others did, another constant. They are just waiting for a variable, which will cause differing results. However, we don't know if they find a variable, or if, regardless of what we are made to believe, that the cycle continues and Booker keeps going back to rescue Elizabeth instead of living happily with her.
What is the world without assumption? (Ooo I made a philosophy, aren't I a frickin' genius).
Picture below :D
During their little speech about perspective, Robert and Rosalind Lutece, my favourite videogame characters ever (so far).
Stay tuned, because Part Two, with more, is coming tomorrow :P
Comment with your favorites of the month!
The rest of the Easter Eggs will be uploaded tomorrow! The Lutece s was #2 although it isn't much of an Easter Egg!
